Proclaim His Glory! MINISTRIES

Ordinary Lives Transformed by Extraordinary Experiences with God

  Losing Control

Losing Control

by Cindy L. Heflin


Jesus said, ‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10 NASB


I sat in silence by the kitchen window as autumn leaves tumbled in the early morning drizzle. The dreary scene outside seemed to reflect the condition of my soul. I sipped a steaming cup of tea and scanned the overcast skies, searching for a glimpse of sunlight. While my children slept, I lingered alone deep in thought. Though I longed to feel the warmth of God's presence—the hot tea did little to change the climate of my numb heart.

“Lord, I need your help,” I whispered.

Several weeks had passed since the car accident, and the ophthalmology report that overshadowed my life and slammed the brakes on my independence. The doctor's painful words still stung, “…tests indicate severe retinal deterioration…loss of all peripheral vision…never drive again…”

Due to the severity of this “tunnel vision”, I was now legally blind. It crushed me to face my loss, my limitations and the reality of this incurable disease slowly stealing my eyesight. Even with God's help, it seemed impossible to cope with this situation.

The children's playful chatter suddenly stifled my thoughts. Another busy day began. I muddled through a typical morning of breakfast, laundry, and Play-DohÔ, wrestling with anxiety, struggling to understand, Why did God allow this to happen?

Somehow, I knew He would take care of our needs, but how? My husband traveled out-of-state frequently; for days, sometimes weeks at a time. With two young daughters to care for, my schedule was filled with trips to the supermarket, preschool, and pediatrician. Accustomed to my self-sufficient way of life, I felt uncomfortable asking for assistance, unwilling to burden others. Being stripped of my wheels and my independenceoverwhelmed me. Turning to the only One true source of hope, I surrendertotal control of my broken life to Christ.

Weary from a long afternoon and a heavy heart, I collapsed on the sofa as the telephone rang. To my surprise, the friendly caller was Mary, a young mom from our church. Despite our mutual friends, we had never met. With compassion, she expressed her concern for my family and me. "You know, I'm always out with my two children. I'd really love the company if you ever need a ride."

A tear slipped down my cheek, as she offered to help me run errands one day each week! I hung up the phone, filled with amazement and gratitude. God had heard my feeble prayer and faithfully He answered!

A tiny seed of hope began to grow in my heart. After baths and bedtime stories, I kissed my girls goodnight, and then fell into bed exhausted, but with a new sense of peace. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for meeting our need!

Little did I know, God was providing my need for transportation and so much more.

Mary arrived promptly the next afternoon. Her bright smile and cheerful nature were as sunny as her buttercup-colored sedan. Each Tuesday, with the children buckled securely and plenty of books and snacks, we set out for an afternoon on the road. Soon, I realized traveling with Mary was more than just a trip to the bank, drugstore, or post office. It was fun! games and songs, she entertained the children as we made our rounds…”all through the town.” Her joy and laughter were healing to my weary soul.

A “road-trip” with Mary always included lively conversation that lifted my spirits. Discussions often centered on our faith in Christ as she encouraged me to seek Him for the strength to overcome every trial. On difficult days she reminded me—with God all things are possible!

Before long, icy winds whistled through the barren branches stretching across the winter sky. Housebound against my will, I felt shrouded in isolation like a tulip bulb trapped beneath the frozen ground. But a snowy afternoon spent at Mary’s inviting home always cured my cabin fever. Over a cup of hot chocolate, we talked and laughed while our toddlers napped and the five-year-olds played Candyland™ on the floor nearby.

Mary had a joy for the Lord I’d never seen or experienced. Something about her faith sparked my desire to draw closer to God. “In seasons of joy or pain, always remember: God’s love for you is greater than you can ever imagine,” she said. “We’re all someone special in His eyes!”

The truth of her simple words of encouragement shot straight into my heart, compelling me to keep trusting the Lord and studying His Word daily.

Soon the welcome sunshine of spring revealed a new hope in my spirit. In addition to our weekly trek, Mary often invited us to the park for a picnic or "Mommy and Me" day at the YMCA. Enjoying these simple pleasures with my daughters once again meant so much to me! My despair diminished and my faith grew stronger as I focused on the Lord's faithfulness instead of my circumstances.

Though I continue to live with ever-increasing visual limitations, I’m learning to walk by faith, not by sight, for God is always in control. He alone sees the entire realm of my life—and His vision is perfect.

During my darkest days, He “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” provided for all my needs and beyond. The shining light of the Lord’s unfailing love transformed my heart and enabled me to see clearly—that I can overcome any weakness when I trust Him unconditionally.

Life truly is abundant when God is in control!

“My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together.” Psalm 34:2-3

Heavenly Father, in humble adoration I bow down and worship You! Tenderly, You watch over me with everlasting love. Graciously, You answer my cry for help, lift me from the depths of despair, and saturate my heart with joy. Generously, You provide all my needs and bless me with abundant life! O Lord, My God, with heartfelt gratitude, I will lift up my hands and  proclaim Your glory forever!


Adapted from Experiencing the Great I Am, by Bryant & Cindy Heflin, Kregel Publications, Copyright © 2005. All rights reserved. Used by permission

This article may NOT be reprinted without written permission from the author.  For reprint rights or comments/questions about this article, please contact the author.

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